Am I Burnt out? I don’t really like this question. I also do not think I have ever had to ask of it of myself when it comes to running, but it has been a weird couple of weeks, when it comes to running and doing workouts, and this might even draw back a little bit to the whole idea of post marathon depression, but running just has not felt quite right recently. So am I burnt out? Maybe. I also cannot say that I really know what that means.
According to a google search burnout is when you “ruin one's health or become completely exhausted through overwork.” If I were to put it into my own words, I would say that it is when you do an activity too much and start to lose your motivation for doing it, either from stress or from boredom. These are feelings that I have almost never associated with running, at least not on a consistent basis. Of course, there are times every now and then when I do not want to do a workout or go out and run, but that is a rare occurrence, so for it to be happening on consecutive days has me a little confused.
So I finished Berlin, and there were a couple of local races that I wanted to do, and I was able to get myself geared up for those, and they went really well. Including a surprising 10k PR, and that got me thinking that I should go for a sub 16 in the 5k at It’s a Wonderful Run. As far as short races go, 5ks are my favorite, and they were my first real love in running, so I thought going back to my roots would be fun and motivating. Breaking 17 for the first time is one of my favorite running memories despite it being at a random free track race in Atlanta after the actual track season was over, but the training just has not been getting me excited.
The weird part is that the training has been going really well. Almost immediately, from my first workout geared toward running a fast 5k, I was hitting the paces I needed to run in the race, and I NEVER hit paces that fast by myself, but I also usually only do mile repeats, so it kind of makes sense. I felt like this should have been super exciting. As long as I kept up the work, I should be able to achieve my goal. I just had to not fall off the wagon (or over do it and get hurt, my personal favorite thing to do). (This may have happened…)
I have stayed consistent. I let one speed workout go over thanksgiving so I could put up a big milage week instead, but I think it is safe to say that no harm was done by that, and I got sick this week, so I had to take two days off, so I recovered well from that high milage. I even did a rare Saturday workout to make up for the one that I missed Thursday when I was sick. I thought it would make me feel better, but despite running good times, especially considering my stomach has still not fully recovered, and I was still trying to get my calories back up, I finished feeling hollow, and not just because my stomach was empty.
This hollow feeling started a couple weeks ago, but it really started to bother me on Tuesday. I had a good day at work, but I had to go to the dentist after work, and they were 30 minutes late to start my appointment, and now my run would finish in the dark. I did not bring my reflective gear, because I thought I would be done quicker at the dentist, so I was just generally annoyed. Nothing crazy. But I thought at least I have my run to do, and it will be fast and hard, so I will feel so much better after that.
I ran 20x200, and my 200s were all well under five-minute pace and much faster than I was expecting, and then I did a tempo mile at the end and ran a 5:15, which I thought given the twenty 200s was pretty fast, but it did not help me feel any better. The general annoyance was still there, and it no longer felt just associated with the dentist either. I never finish a run feeling just as annoyed or more annoyed. NEVER. The problems almost always fix themselves of at least shrink down to small pebbles ready to fall off my shoulders at any minute. But the weight stayed on my shoulders after the run. Weird.
Maybe it is not actually the running though. There are other things going on as well that are causing my brain to work much more than usual as well. I am just days away from finishing my master’s degree, and over the course of my last two weeks, I had a group test and an individual test, a group project, and a final exam. So that is a lot. (Although now I know that the test went well) Also I had to take some certification exams that took over four hours, and so I had all of that hanging over my head. It is just that normally running helps to allay these anxieties, which is what leads me to believe that running is the problem not the other stuff.
My only other potential explanation is that I have no real big goal in mind. I feel a little lost. I really would like to sign up for an ultra to have that to train for, but I am just worried about my body staying healthy through all the training, since the tendonitis last year, my body has rarely felt one hundred percent. So could it make it through a 50 mile race with 10,000 feet of gain? I don’t know, but I would like it to survive that. I also put in for the second chance lottery for London, so that could also be the goal race. I am little over road marathons, especially flat ones, but if I get in, I think I could get excited about that (if I can get the time off from work). Currently though, nothing really sticks out to me and excites me.
So, what is the solution to burn out and not wanting to run? I guess not running. I still want to run the race though, so hopefully I can push through this week and run the race then take some time off and get ready to go in 2025. But I might not make it that far. My calf/shin started to hurt on my run this morning. Nothing crazy, the discomfort would come and go, but it was enough to make me decide not to do a whole long run, which did not take much persuasion. I did not want to do five more miles solo. So hopefully it is nothing, when I was stretching and rolling, I felt a soreness/knot, which gives me hope that it can be fixed easily.
So am I burnt out? Probably. Or at least a little bit. I think that is okay though. I like to work hard and run a lot, so it was bound to happen at some point. I do not think my actual love and commitment to running is at stake though. I think it is probably a phase that will last a week or so, and I think once the days start getting longer again that will help to liven me up. I do not like finishing my runs in darkness. Starting a run in darkness and having the world get brighter around you is magical, but watching the fire be extinguished from the world not so much. It just makes me want to be done and go to bed. I guess the moral is that even people who love running a ton can get tired of it, and it can become too much, but as long as you treat yourself nicely and listen to your brain, everything will probably be okay. Right?
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